Someone messed up on their email...

The basic summary of it is that I have two families. One here in Austin and one in Mexico. I love both of my families very much, but i just can't find the time to travel back and forth, especially with all the home work i have to do, and now that I have black ops?! The time just seems to float away. I have an amazing wife and two kids with both families, but i'm not sure what to do. My son Pablo in Mexico is always asking Juana why I can never be around. Pobresito. Necesito ayudar. I need your help.
 Muchas gracias, Earl Rodriquez

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Dear "Earl",
Um... you're a guy, right? Dump both families and play Black Ops for the rest of your life. That's the obvious choice! You can go live with your mom in her basement and eat ramen for the rest of your life. There are single moms everywhere, and your wives can still live with you if they want (making your sammiches). The only girl a guy really needs in life is his mom anyway ♥
Sincerely,
EJE (Who thinks her and "Earl" should totes say more than 2 words to each other since they haven't talked in almost 2 years.)

Earl, you are quite the player! Two ladies? Daaaaaaayum.
Anyway, if you want to keep your two ladies, it is probably time for your two families to meet each other. In fact, you could all move in together and form a commune! That way, you'll be able to spend time with both families and you'll have to do even less work because you'll have two ladies around to do all of it for you! That means twice the time for Black Ops and twice the sammiches, as EJE so eloquently said.
Good luck!
Clyde